and everyone’s like
and i’m just like
This is important to see and understand for everyone. Please, if you see someone in a public restroom that you think might not belong there because they don’t look like you, don’t scream or yell at them, have some compassion and go about your business.
^^ 90% of trans* kids don’t feel safe at school, and one part of that problem is that they have no safe access to bathrooms. kids have been expelled for using the “wrong” bathroom, others are bullied or beat up, trans adults are chased out by security, harassed, and humiliated. something as simple as going to the bathroom becomes a daunting, scary, and even dangerous endeavor and its got to stop. we all deserve privacy, dignity, and safety in the restroom.
“Mother,” I slowly repeated in Korean. “I am not a boy. I am a girl. I am transgender.” My face reddened, and tears blurred my vision. I braced myself for her rejection and the end to a relationship that had only begun.
Silence again filled the room. I searched my mother’s eyes for any signs of shock, disgust or sadness. But a serene expression lined her face as she sat with ease on the couch. I started to worry that my words had been lost in translation. Then my mother began to speak.
“Mommy knew,” she said calmly through my friend, who looked just as dumbfounded as I was by her response. “I was waiting for you to tell me.”
“Birth dream,” my mother replied. In Korea some pregnant women still believe that dreams offer a hint about the gender of their unborn child. “I had dreams for each of your siblings, but I had no dream for you. Your gender was always a mystery to me.”
I wanted to reply but didn’t know where to begin. My mother instead continued to speak for both of us. “Hyun-gi,” she said, stroking my head. “You are beautiful and precious. I thought I gave birth to a son, but it is OK. I have a daughter instead.”
such a beautiful story. as a queer person, waiting is filled with anxiety about what to say, how much of myself and my life would i be able to reveal? the fear of rejection is so huge, but i also desperately want my family to know me, my life, my trials, my triumphs.
i just want to look into someone’s eyes and see myself, feel like i look like someone, like i can see where i came from. i want to know if i am an oppa or hyung.
i want to know if i had a name.
i have heard all the stories, all the possibilities from bad to good that can happen when you find your birth family. but this…this is the best. the absolute best.
This gave me chills. This is wonderful.
And then I cried all over myself.
Gloria Anzaldua (Tejana Chicana poet and activist)
“I am visible—see this Indian face—yet I am invisible. I both blind them with my beak nose and am their blind spot. But I exist, we exist. They’d like to think I have melted in the pot. But I haven’t. We haven’t.
I am playing with my Self, I am playing with the world’s soul, I am the dialogue between my Self and el espiritu del mundo. I change myself, I change the world.
The struggle is inner: Chicano, indio, American Indian, mojado, mexicano, immigrant Latino, Anglo in power, working class Anglo, Black, Asian—our psyches resemble the bordertowns and are populated by the same people. The struggle has always been inner, and is played out in outer terrains. Awareness of our situation must come before inner changes, which in turn come before changes in society. Nothing happens in the “real” world unless it first happens in the images in our heads.
Living on borders and in margins, keeping intact one’s shifting and multiple identity and integrity, is like trying to swim in a new element, an “alien” element.”
I think there’s a pattern here for conservatives and their social attitudes. They don’t mind restrictions on free speech, until they have something provocative to say. They want to restrict reproductive rights, until someone close to them has an unwanted pregnancy. They want to break down the church-state wall, until they feel like their faith is in the minority. They want to treat embryos as people, until they suffer from an ailment that could benefit from stem-cell research. And they balk at the idea of equal rights for gay people, until it’s their daughter who is looking for equality. The key to social change in this country seems fairly straightforward: wait for conservatives to have more life experience.